A slave's Needs

Some late-night thoughts i felt were worth sharing: Slaves, and those who seek to be slaves,
are constantly advised not to be self-centered and not to focus on our needs and desires but
rather those of others. And this can be good advice when a would-be slave is so focused on
fantasies of what a Master will look like, act like, and do to the slave that he loses sight of what
he will do for the Master or bring to the relationship. As i've said before -- and no doubt will
say again , here or elsewhere -- being a full-time sex toy/captive/whipping boy almost never
actually happens, and if that's what slavery means to you, 99% of the real-life Masters out
there will be terribly disappointing. But aside from that lesson, there's another, more subtle
lesson about slave "selfishness" that's only now becoming clear to me, which is that someone
who's looking to become a slave, or remain a slave, needs to be ruthlessly selfish about getting
his or her slave needs met. By this i don't mean the basic needs of life for food, shelter,
clothing, employment, social contacts, and a degree of affection. We all need that, whether
we're slaves or Tops or boys or vanilla. Rather, i mean the things that feed and strengthen a
slave's slavery: things like direction, discipline, and service. About these there can be no
compromise, because when they are lacking in a slave's life, slavery itself cannot long be
sustained.

Direction
The popular conception is that slaves are people who are forced to obey a Master's orders,
and many slaves also fantasize being forced. Being obedient is held to be the opposite of
freedom, and the negative connotations of "slavery" largely consist in this lack of freedom.
This no doubt was true of many or most coerced slaves in history. It is not true of consensual
slaves today. Those who become slaves today in the U.S., Europe, and the rest of the
developed world do so not because they are being forced to obey, but because they positively
need to obey. Obedience is the voluntary slave's lifeblood. To obey is not our cross but our joy!
We only ask to be given the opportunity. And that's where direction comes in. Any idiot can
tell someone else what to do! Lots of people are bossy or domineering or pushy. That's not
what can satisfy a slave's need to obey, not in the long run, because people who are merely
bossy tend not to be very consistent or intelligent about what they tell others to do; they
operate on whim. The more perfectly you obey someone like that, the more likely you are to
get into trouble, because today's order may contradict yesterday's or undermine tomorrow's.
You can drive a dog or a child insane with contradictory orders; is a slave any less sensitive?
Ideally, what slaves need -- whether they're aware of *wanting* it or not! -- is clear direction,
firm goals, consistent rules, unambiguous orders. And it takes a Master with great presence of
mind, intelligence, self-control, and self-understanding to provide that kind of environment.

Discipline
The most common slave fantasy is probably of being punished, but i think the erotic
charge of this is really a metaphor for discipline, which is not the same as punishment.
Discipline is controlled behavior; punishment is simply a means, and not often a very good
one, of achieving discipline. Just as slaves need to obey, we need to follow rules and to push
ourselves to live up to some ideal. i think every (voluntary) slave wants to be the perfect slave
in some sense, and we need -- as much as we need air and water --someone to hold out that
ideal before us and challenge us to live up to it, even knowing that we'll never actually achieve
it. If it were easy to be a slave, if anyone could do it, what would be the point? If there were no
sacrifice involved, if it required nothing above and beyond ordinary life as a bottom-oriented
leatherman or leatherdyke, why bother? Slavery is a demanding, challenging vocation, or
calling, and its challenges cannot end once the slave enters into service with a Master. The
Master must provide a continual challenge as well as an environment in which the slave's
discipline and dedication are continually honed. To this end, many Masters institute various
rituals and protocols for their slaves to follow. These are misunderstood, i think, if they are
examined too literally, and especially if the point is taken to be the inculcation of a worshipful
attitude toward the Master's person. The point is to enable the slave to develop a worshipful
attitude, period. Giving the slave a framework by which to live a disciplined life of respect and
dedication is the point, not feeding the Master's ego. Nonetheless, at the very prosaic level of
enforcement of rules, a Master who does not notice or care about infractions is one who is
shirking His duty toward His slave. It is not necessary to punish, but it is necessary to take
notice of the lapse and deal with it in some definite way. Slaves need to feel the Master's eye on
them continually, until it is internalized. If He cannot or will not provide discipline, He has no
business owning a slave, just as a parent who will not provide it for a child is unfit for that role.

Service
While there are no end of fantasies about obedience and discipline, most slaves only
fantasize about sexual "service" -- but that is typically the lesser part of a full-time slave's
service. Indeed, the difference between a slave and a bottom may turn on the willingness, even
eagerness, to serve in nonsexual ways. (As i once read in a personal ad, "I don't clean my own
apartment -- why should I clean yours?" If you have to ask, you'll never understand. )
Difficulties arise when Masters, or slaves, confuse service with being used. The difference is
subtle but critical. Perhaps it is the difference between "being used" and "being useful." Being
used has a very negative connotation for most people, and i suspect that in cases where it has a
strong erotic charge, it refers more to the categories of direction and discipline than service.
That is, what is exciting about "being used" is being obedient and controlled, transcending
your own ego and its selfish pleasures to be an instrument of someone else's will. That doesn't
have to be a humiliating, demeaning, or degrading experience -- it can be an exhilarating and
liberating one. Being useful, in contrast, is something that most people do find pleasurable and
rewarding -- slaves more than others. It is the sense of "right employment," of expending your
life energies in a good and satisfying way. The joy of service is the feeling of having "made a
difference" in some part of the world, however small. When Masters think of a slave's service
purely in terms of having him at Their beck and call to fulfill any whim or transient desire,
They trivialize the slave's slavery and undermine his ability to continue that way of life. On the
contrary, a case could be made that the main reason Masters even exist is to provide slaves
with an opportunity to serve to the best of their abilities! Whether you accept that view or not,
a Master who neglects or wastes a slave's talents is worse than a fool; it is a form of abuse as
serious as physical harm or neglect. Perhaps the greatest challenge for a Master is to
determine how a given slave can best serve Him, and to reconsider the matter again and again
as the slave grows, learns, and develops. This is not to say that any particular service should be
beneath any particular slave -- we can all benefit from taking a turn at menial chores.
Nonetheless, a slave needs to feel, overall, that he is fulfilling his potential for service, or he will
not remain content in his slavery for long.

Summary
In conclusion, the lesson i'm trying to convey is that slaves need to look out for ourselves in
terms of making sure that our needs for direction, discipline, and service get fulfilled. No
matter how sexy a potential Master may be, no matter how many of your fetishes He matches
and BDSM buttons He pushes, if there's no clear evidence that He'll provide for your basic
needs as a slave, look elsewhere. By the same token, a potential Master who's not your wet
dream but can offer an environment of clear direction, firm discipline, and opportunities for
challenging and satisfying service deserves at least a second look. Hope this is helpful to
someone!