New submissive's Tips on Behavior


Finding the One is not an easy task and submissives are at some definite disadvantages
compared to their "vanilla" counterparts. The nature of submissives can make them less likely
to initiate an encounter with someone who has caught their eye and the D/s lifestyle makes it
difficult for subs to aggressively seek the attentions of a Dominant that has pricked their
interest.

So how does a submissive get noticed? The answer is often this: By her or his behavior. That
behavior can be good or bad, as is the notice it receives. Some things always apply and these
are a few of the most important ones.

Be respectful. Showing respect for others and yourself is a must in almost any situation.
There is seldom an excuse for anyone, especially a submissive, to be rude, disrespectful or
disruptive. In a real-life social situation it probably will not be tolerated and will most likely
lead to you being viewed in a negative light by those who take the lifestyle seriously. Online, it
exposes you for what you are: untrained or a wannabe. We've all seen the sub who brags
about handcuffing a Dom to a chair, is constantly causing a disturbance during polite
conversation or jumps in every lap in the room. Believe me, this is NOT the way for
submissives to act, nor is it acceptable in any real-life situation I've ever seen. It is very hard to
be respectful to someone who doesn't deserve respect and we've all encountered situations
where we've been pushed past our "limits" of tolerance. It takes some real ingenuity to find a
tasteful way to tell someone to "take a hike."

Be polite. Good manners are appreciated everywhere, and in a formal D/s situation, they
are imperative. The use of such things as "Thank you," "Please" and "You are welcome" will
not go unnoticed, just as the failure to use them won't go unheeded. Using common courtesy
may go a long way in gaining you some positive attention; at the very least, it won't give you
a negative reaction.

Be well groomed and dress appropriately. Contrary to popular belief, submissives do not
run around half-dressed or naked in all social situations. Maintaining a neat, clean appearance
will gain more positive attention than a thong and chainmail bra. Being demure and feminine
(if you're a female) is often the best option. Remember, a potential Dom is looking for a
submissive, not a call girl, so a little modesty should be your trademark in most social
gatherings. Some things look much better when enhanced by the imagination and a little hint
can be a nice appetizer before the feast.

Be well behaved. Being well-behaved speaks louder than any words you could use. Your
actions will be watched by any interested Dominant, and although you won't be expected to
be perfect, you will be expected to have behavior befitting of someone He/She would want to
claim as theirs. Misbehaving seems to get a lot of attention but it's not the kind you may want.
Picture a spoiled or undisciplined child who disrupts a classroom. The teacher is very aware of
this child, but I doubt he or she want to take that child home. Although some Dominants may
enjoy the challenge of a "feisty" submissive, I doubt many want the "subbie brat from hell."
Dominants take pride in the behavior of their submissive, so start out on the right foot.

Be yourself. Don't fall into the trap of trying to be what you think someone else is looking
for. It's important to be yourself. If you are playful and spirited by nature, then by all means
don't be afraid to show this side of you. The same applies if you are the more serious, quiet
type. Little will be gained by trying to be someone you are not. Sooner or later your true
nature will be apparent and both you and your Dominant will be in for some major problems
and disappointments.


~author unknown~