Master's Training (part III) 13. Powell's Rules for Picking People Look for intelligence and judgment and, most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners. Also look for loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego and the drive to get things done. This one I think is obvious. How often do we sit down and decide "okay, I want to build my life around an idiot who's a lazy, lying cheater I couldn't trust to walk around the block without getting into trouble." Everything Gen. Powell mentions is a good attribute to look for in a dominant, and for that matter a submissive too (provided the drive to get things done is based on what the *dominant* wants done...hey, I'm prejudiced, no excuses). Prior experience is important too, but only if someone learns from it. The dominant who has the infamous "twenty years experience with numerous subs" is boasting of his failure to learn how to keep a relationship going. An unbroken record of failures does little to enhance credibility. Better someone with no experience but an energetic mind willing to learn. They can do no worse, but have the ability and opportunity to do much better. 14. Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers They are people who can cut through argument, debate and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand. There is always the temptation to over analyze anything. Remember those times in English class where the teacher asked "now what is the poet trying to say?" Maybe the poet isn't trying to say anything; it's just that the particular combination sounded nice to the ear. Or maybe the author wrote that story so she could pay the rent; no hidden deep meaning except "I don't want to be evicted." D/s relationships don't have to be complicated either. No lengthy contracts or secret code words needed. At first I thought I needed to spell out a contract (yup, following a fad) but after the second day Karen and I concluded it was a silly and wasted effort. We had discussed our views, what we each saw as our roles, and we found ourselves in agreement on just about everything. We didn't have to put it in writing (well, actually we did anyway, sort of, we talked about it endlessly on IRC and she saved the conversations). She trusted my judgment; I trusted her, end of debate. Same thing when we got married. I asked myself if there was any reason not to (there wasn't), then simply told her when we were getting married. She raised no objections; it was the right thing to do, obvious to both of us. 15. Use the formula P=@ to 70 In which P stands for the probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information acquired. Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your gut. Abstracting the math, his idea is that one should be reasonably certain of success, at least 40 percent, but to wait for that elusive 100 percent takes too long. It's easy to become paralyzed by indecision, never making a move unless the results are absolutely certain. Time is always a factor; wait too long and opportunity is lost. Gen. Powell brings up something I feel is crucial to being dominant: trust your instincts, or as he says, go with your gut feeling. When I first met Karen, I had a feeling she was someone very different from the people I had met on IRC up to then. In retrospect that very first day she stood out because of the way she could keep the conversation going. She listened to what I said, asked intelligent questions, and offered her own opinions. Not slanted opinions to tell me what I wanted to hear, but ones obviously her own, even if we disagreed. Instinct told me to keep talking and come back the next day. Fortunately I went with that gut feeling. 16. The commander in the field is always right And the rear echelon is wrong, unless proven otherwise This comment was aimed at the corporate drone culture, but I interpret it as a warning against recriminations and second-guessing too. It's easy to point out all the things that went wrong after the fact, but it has to be balanced with credit for the willingness to take risks. Silence, the failure to speak up beforehand, is tacit agreement. A D/s relationship can't survive in an atmosphere of criticism after the fact. The dom as field commander makes the call, the sub as the rear echelon accepts the results by recognizing there is no benefit to jumping all over him if he did his best. 17. Have fun in your command Don't always run at a breakneck pace. Take leave when you've earned it: Spend time with your families. This is one area where I still have problems. I am a workaholic, but I enjoy what I do. I do find ways to relax, though it isn't obvious to the outsider. It may be writing an essay like this, or reading a good book, or even going out in the desert to fire off a few hundred rounds from the AK-47 (keeping democracy safe from dangerously rabid cans). I enjoyed the quiet times we had, even if it was no more than watching a cooking show on TV (our favorites: Two Fat Ladies and Iron Chef). 18. Command is lonely It all comes down to the point where the buck stops. By the way, that saying comes from an American riverboat gambling tradition, where a buck knife (handle made from horn of a buck deer) was passed around the table to indicate turn to bet, the player made a wager or literally passed the buck to the next player. No matter how much discussion and planning go into it, the essence of a D/s relationship is strictly hierarchical, with the dominant at the top. No one else to blame if it goes wrong, no one else to pass off the hard choices. At times it can be a lonely place. Many times I had tough problems to face with no good answers. I talked to my wife about them when I thought it appropriate, but not every time. It was my responsibility to worry about it and determine what we would do. It was important to me she did not bear the stress unless it was unavoidable. I've heard arguments that's not the right approach, and there were times she didn't like it either, but overall I would do the same again. I would follow the same policy because I saw tangible, measurable results. When I first met Karen her blood pressure was exceptionally high, at dangerous levels. She was taking medication for it, but it still remained at far too high readings. Two years later it had dropped to well within normal range, to the point where her doctor stopped the blood pressure medicine. What changed? Her stress level. Now my stress level did go up, but that didn't bother me (and my blood pressure didn't change). I knew it would happen and allowed for it. That's the list. I don't always agree with Gen. Powell's policies today (my politics are to the right of Margaret Thatcher or Ronald Reagan) but I do have deep respect for his reputation and ability. I take the time to listen to what he says, even if the price is a broken TV when I throw the lamp at the screen afterwards. If anyone were to actually try to write a training manual for dominants, they would do well to start with his leadership list as an outline.

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