DESENSITIZING Does frequent scening or the ongoing interaction of a full D/s relationship desensitize the submissive? There tends to be a strong focus on the 'level' or range of a submissive. Most frequently this attention is focused on the level of physical stimulation or pain that the given submissive can endure. Many equate the ability to 'take' significant amounts of pain as being in some way superior to a submissive who can only endure small amounts and sometimes no pain at all. There tends to be an almost elitist attitude which emerges, I have too often seen submissives parading serious bruises as banners or trophies of their 'ability'. This type of trophy hunting concerns me deeply, as does the self-abusive aspects to it which I often consider to be unhealthy. In order to answer the above posed question clearly it seems to me that you need to look at the underlying desires on the part of the submissive and the Dominant very carefully to extend the pain threshold. Part of the experience of S/m is pain. The infliction of and the receipt of pain. However, for most people the desired experience is not merely to feel or give pain. Pain is generally a tool used to create sensations and experiences that may be 'only' accessed through using pain. I will focus this article on those people who 'use' pain to achieve a desired effect. When a submissive first enters the lifestyle everything is new. While they may have been exposed to relationships which included violence, non-consensual infliction of pain is a completely different experience from D/s. So, everything is new. In many cases the submissive desires to return to a simpler time, a time and place where the rules were straightforward, not fluid and shifting from day to day. In addition there are underlying desires to be 'captured', 'taken', and ‘used’. Often the mind views these fantasies as the escape from the limitations of proper society. A place where the individual in being 'bound' is set free from responsibility and able to be fully themselves. This suggests that what they consider to be their true self is at odds with the dictates of 'normal' society. As they begin to explore this new world they may discover a growing desire to experience pain, bondage, torture etc. All of these things are forms of mental release. However, every individual is unique. What they can or may be able to process is different. In the heightened focus on 'this' aspect of D/s there is pressure for a submissive to be able to 'take a lot of pain'. From my perspective as a Dominant there is no 'correct level' or even 'desired level'. The aspect that triggers me internally is creating and directing action which elicits the response 'I' desire. I do not derive personal pleasure from the infliction of sensation for the infliction itself. I derive pleasure from the reactions or responses of the submissive. When the relationship is new the response I might be looking for may take only a minimal amount of action or sensation to achieve. Often since everything is so new the submissive will reach that 'place' quickly. Over time as both partners grow accustomed to each other and as the submissive become 'used' to certain types of sensation occurring frequently, they learn to process that information differently. Then, in order for the Dominant to achieve their desired reaction they must alter the action or intensify it. This is not consistently true however. It is important for the Dominant to actively seek out what the underlying 'mental trigger' is inside of the submissive. If a submissive is triggered by a desire to 'serve' not by 'application of pain' then their ability to process pain information will always remain somewhat constant. A Dominant 'pressing' such a submissive may mentally injure that submissive by implying that they are not 'good enough' in some way for not processing pain in a manner the Dominant believes is required. For a 'serving' submissive they can generally process a certain amount of stimulation comfortably and will attempt to 'please' their Dominant by allowing this application to themselves. They will not ever need or desire serious or heavy scening in the 'pain infliction arena'. A Dominant should not try to convert or 'force' such a submissive but instead look for the 'type' of submissive who parallel’s their interest from the beginning. A submissives limit can and should be pressed in the area of their trigger. This will increase their sensations of pleasure. In my opinion the enrichment of each other's lives is of considerable importance here. For the submissive who triggers on sensations of pain they can and will become somewhat desensitized to light forms of play. Again the same principles are at work. Their mind learns to process the information and requires 'different' stimulation to respond or react. This is often referred to as 'playing a submissive's edges'. The Dominant should always remain aware that the submissive is not a 'constant force'. The ability to process information will vary from day to day and moment to moment. The level or range of pain or stimulation that the submissive can endure will never remain constant. It is quite common for a submissive to have an 'intense scene' which takes them further than they have ever gone before, to be immediately followed by a withdrawal or inability to process the 'level' of sensory input that was standard before the limit breaking scene took place. This reaction often surprises both the Dominant and submissive. It appears to be almost a recuperation period - this period is sometimes quite reactive and a submissive may find themselves lashing out at their Dominant at this point or resisting direction. Returning to the level that was normal prior to the intense scene may take up to several weeks; however at that point the Dominant often finds that the submissive's level is 'slightly' higher than it was before the scene. It is found that frequent scening, even daily scenings; do tend to extend the initial limits or range of the submissive. However, it is my opinion that a significant part of this effect is a result of increasing trust as much as of desensitization on the part of the submissive. Often a submissive 'desires' to go further. As they develop trust they relax more and more into the direction of their Dominant. That trust/relaxation allows them to reach further within themselves.

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